Searching for Poon  尋找潘  traces my grandmother's steps from mainland China into Hong Kong, searching and imagining her past as she loses her memory.

2020 - Ongoing

“The ocean in your eyes, the City only you can reach – they no longer exist in my time and place.

 I thought you were swept into the ocean of oblivion. I dive in looking for you, only to realize you washed up on the other side of Memory, one step ahead of me."


妳眼中的那片海,只有妳能夠抵達的那座城,他們已經消失,或正在消失,已不存在於我的時空。我以為妳迷失在遺忘的海洋,我沈入它去尋找妳,可妳卻已抵達記憶的彼岸。


Poon, my grandmother, cannot remember her past. 

I can only infer based on early memories of her and the stories my parents have told me.

Family photos left behind become objective clues of her life. I use them to search and trace her past, imagining her memories around the fragments of her life. The objective reality of her life and my remembrance converge, intertwining personal memories with broader histories of Hong Kong.

These images become doorways to imagining the past where the boundaries between memory, fiction, and reality are blurred.

潘,


空蕩蕩的房間裡,螢光燈嗡嗡作響,妳坐在輪椅上,我喊著妳阿嬤,而妳的眼神彷彿在說,這一刻,我也是陌生人了。


原來遺忘,是移居到一塊遙遠的土地,而那裡曾叫作家。妳將自己放逐在時間裡,從此時、此地抽離。或許我還是那個在新澤西家門前玩雪的六歲男孩,而這一刻的我,來自某個未來。


舊公寓裡的手提箱,裝滿了近半個世紀的照片和信件。看妳留下的相片,讀妳寫下的文字,去妳去過的地方 — 他們或已在我的時空消逝無蹤,卻依舊暗藏於妳心底。


妳從記憶裡回望,我朝著記憶的深處走去。我在照片裡與妳重逢。我們站在陽台上,拍下我飛往美國前的最後一張照片。殊不知下一次歸來,竟已過二十載。


我望向妳的双眼 —— 故鄉的樣子似乎從未改變,這片天空也永不落日。我看見了年少的妳最熟悉的面孔,走過了妳和姊姊踩著單車的石子路,淋過了那個夏日午後意外的一場雨。妳遙望遠山,幻想著山的另一邊。


下一刻,妳看著後視鏡裡,妳先生的骨灰向遠方飄散。不過一星期前,妳還握著他的手,直到他的最後一絲呼吸;我在世界的另一端,聽著妳透過免持電話哭泣,他的呼吸越來越重,直到,一片寂靜……


妳眼中的那片海,只有妳能夠抵達的那座城,他們已經消失,或正在消失,已不存在於我的時空。我以為妳迷失在遺忘的海洋,我沉入它去尋找妳,可妳却已抵達記憶的彼岸。


回憶是一面鏡子,卻看不清自己的模樣。我走在妳記憶的邊際,用我的回憶去尋找妳,卻瞥見了我自己。


時間的重量,將我們之間的距離越拉越遠。妳拒絕走向回憶的出口,留在彼端;而我仍在此刻,不斷回望。




Grants

Fujifilm GFX Challenge Grant Program, 2021  

Hong Kong Arts Development Council Grant, 2023

Exhibition

Traces, Field Projects Gallery, New York, 30 April - 05 May, 2024

"Searching for Poon", November 04 - 24, 2022, GFX Challenge Grant Program 2021, Fujifilm Square, Tokyo 

Events

Seaton Street Press, Printed Matter Art Book Fair 2024, 25 - 28 April

“Searching for Poon Book Launch”, HART Haus, Hong Kong, December 20 


Using Format